My Mentoring Evolution
By Mike DeGrosky
Several years ago, I participated on a panel of senior managers during which we were asked to discuss our influences and mentors. When invited, I thought “Easy assignment,” because I knew who my mentors were and how they had influenced me. That is, until I started talking. Up to that point, I think both the organizers and I had been thinking about mentors from what is a common point-of-view: people who guide and nurture someone over an extended period of time. I have two of those. Men who had profound impacts on me, for whom I am forever grateful, and who occupy special corners of my heart. It was them, and only them, that I had intended to discuss. Then, unexpectedly, I found myself including people who had played much more transitory roles in my life, some passing through in only weeks or even days: on a fire assignment, during a consulting project, or while I was a late-in-life graduate student. Each had somehow left me a better fire manager, consultant, academic, or just a better person.
For example, when I was an undergrad, I met a renowned fire researcher that a professor had invited in as a guest lecturer. We had occasional contact off-and-on throughout my college years and were on a first name basis. We bumped into one another a couple of years after I graduated. I was in an entry-level fire position and was pleased that he even remembered me. He regularly inquired about my progress, offered advice, and helped me see a vision for my career. All of this happened during 10-minute conversations in the locker room at our gym. I used to wonder whether he knew, at the time, that he was mentoring me. All these years later, I’ve concluded that yes, of course, this super-smart man who had people skills coming out of his ears and had been around the block knew exactly what he was doing.
That panel discussion began the evolution of my thinking on mentors and mentoring. I regard mentoring as both a powerful form of leadership and a vital, but underutilized, method of leadership development. Most of my mentoring experiences, whether as mentor or mentee, have been of that conventional nature; some resulting in long-term friendships. Consequently, my template as a mentor had been to provide a steady, stable, and knowledgeable presence in my mentee’s work life. I still believe in that model when that is what the mentee believes will best serve them. However, my thinking on mentoring has also evolved beyond that template in three ways. First, I realized that I had benefited from people who took me under their wing for a short period and that I have similarly benefited others. Short-term mentoring can be very effective and produce lasting outcomes. Second, at the core of my mentoring philosophy lies the belief that a mentor’s role is not to make or re-make their mentee into something; and is certainly not to replicate the mentor. A mentor’s fundamental purpose is to nurture and guide the mentee, helping them find and release the more ideal person that exists within them, perhaps helping them find their passion and purpose. Finally, based on my own experience, I believe that high-quality mentoring relationships can, and should, benefit both the mentee and the mentor. The best mentorships, the ones with the most meaningful and durable impact, are both mutual and reciprocal; and, as a mentor, I make my expectation of mutuality clear from the start. A mutually beneficial relationship creates a climate that is both more empowered and empowering for the mentee, and creating a sense of agency is the whole point.
Author’s Bio: Mike DeGrosky retired as Chief of the Montana DNRC’s Fire Protection Bureau. Before returning to DNRC in 2016, Mike was Chief Executive of Guidance Group and also served as an adjunct instructor for the Leadership Studies Department for Fort Hays State University for 10 years.
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